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Dead Reckoning: Lost Nevados Day 07

Dead Reckoning: Lost Nevados Day 07

03/08/2016 | Manizales to Bogota

Get back to Bogotá. Get back to Bogotá. Get back to Bogotá. Get back to Bogotá. Get back to Bogotá. Get back to Bogotá.

Dead Reckoning: Lost Nevados Day 07

I II III IV V VI

I Day 07 Intro & Stats

START – STOP: Manizales – Bogotá

 

DISTANCE: We drove, so it doesn’t matter.

 

ELEVATION GAIN: Lots.

 

RIDING TIME: None, but we were in cars for around nine hours.

 

TIME AWAKE SPENT IN PURSUIT OF THE TRIP, ROUGHLY: All of it, basically.

 

POINTS OF INTEREST / OBJECTIVES:  Get back to Bogotá. Get back to Bogotá. Get back to Bogotá. Get back to Bogotá. Get back to Bogotá. Get back to Bogotá.

 

CUE SHEET: N/A

 

WEATHER: Air conditioned.

 


 

Here’s the story. We woke up early. We survived 9 hours of high-speed race car-like driving along tight and twisty mountain roads. No one got sick. We didn’t hit any dogs. Although the vehicles for our second leg were late for our rendezvous it didn’t matter, we had time. The much talked-about volcano gave us a little show. As we drove we told jokes with the easy jocularity you find with old friends. What else do you want? What else is there?

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Camiseta de Búfalo Oro
$30.00

The most luxurious buffalo t-shirt ever made.

II A Chronological Breakdown of the Day's Events

  • 5:45 am: We have to wake up at this hour because if we don’t we’re going to miss our ride.
  • 5:46 am: At least the Hammer Fugue hasn’t started.
  • 6:03 am: Our Hotel Dude insists that we have breakfast before we leave.
  • 6:04 am: We breakfast.
  • 6:45 am: It takes a while, but we get the van completely loaded up and say our goodbyes to Hotel Dude.
  • 7:25 am: This van is really fast. So much faster than we were on our bikes.
  • 9:35 am: We stop at the top of Letras. The volcano looks cool. There isn’t a cloud in the sky. At least, that’s how I remember it.
  • 10:00 am-ish: For about 30 minutes we’re stuck behind this extremely-overloaded box van that is literally three-wheeling around the corners. To make it even more terrifying, the load is made up of sharp, angular bits of metal aka shrapnel.
  • 11:31 am: Driving down Letras is taking forever. However, we do stop at that little souvenir shop I noted back on Day 01 to pick up a talisman for our contest.
  • 12:06 pm: We arrive in Mariquita. Our transportation is supposed to be here at 12:30 pm. The dude who owns the Specialized store in Mariquita, Harold Castro is, surprise surprise, very cool. NBD. He buys a bunch of mangosteens and we shoot the shit while waiting for our ride.
  • 2:05 pm: Our transportation shows up.
  • 2:35 pm: We leave Mariquita.
  • 6:45 pm: Finally we’re back at Hotel Casona del Patio.
  • 7:35 pm: Dinner is at a nice place. Very artisanal, with a Kinfolk vibe (this counts against it), but the food is good so we make the best of it.
  • 9:35 pm: Back at the hotel we pack our bags and set our alarm clocks. Tomorrow morning we will once again be up before dawn in order to catch a sky chariot back to the USA. Colombia, you’ve been magical.

III Words & Phrases to Know

AIRE CONDICIONADO: air conditioning. When you’re inside of the car with aire condicionado it doesn’t feel like it does when you’re outside of the car.

IV Climbing Back Up to Letras

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Yeah Cole, we get it. That kit is tight. WE GET IT.
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Colombian Traffic Jam. Am I right!? LOL
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Colombian Traffic Ja—errrrrrrrrrrrr.

V Mariquita Take 2

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This is Zika territory. But this time we didn't care. We were heading home. Now, I know that this kind of thinking makes absolutely no sense. Why would it be okay not to worry about an infectious disease just because we were about to head home? Why would that make any difference at all? It doesn't, but that's not the point. The point is we believed that we'd be fine, and God knows, if anyone knows, that belief is a powerful force.
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Bro, where were you six days ago?
A W O L
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I could definitely get down with this program. Whatever it is, I could get down with it.
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Writing on the wall, roughly translated: "Chicken Stew." Swede in the foreground roughly translated: "Erik Nohlin, myth giver."
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This is Santiago aka @szamo91. Brass tacks, this dude is amazing. Not only did he get up early to drive us over the hill from Manizales to Mariquita, but he drove us around Manizales earlier in the week while we were looking for a gas canister. Not only that but he's handsome AF, a complete shredder on the old MTB, and needs to get to California stat because we need his vibe in the states.
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This is Harold Castro. He owns the Specialized shop in Mariquita. He's also, you guessed it, extremely nice. We basically just kicked it for a while. It was cool.
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What's up, bright future?

VI CONGRATULATIONS
To the Winners of Yonder Journal's Official LOST NEVADOS TALISMAN CONTEST!

You are looking at the #lostnevados 2016 Talisman. Beautiful, isn’t it? Obviously it’s a bota bag. Since the time of Cervantes and possibly even before, the bota bag has been the go-to purse for all your liquid storage needs. The world prefers you only use it for storing wine, but if you need to store milk, or grapefruit juice, or even water in a bota I think we could be okay with that. We don’t see ourselves as inflexible bota fundamentalists, rather we are bota traditionalists with a vested interest in keeping traditional bota bag culture alive and vibrant.

 

But why is the bota bag the #lostnevados 2016 Talisman? Keen observers among you will note that at no point in our coverage were any members of our expeditionary force seen using, cavorting, or even flirting with a bota bag. You may be asking yourself, “Self, if the Yonder Journal #deadreckoning #lostnevados crew wasn’t seen using, cavorting, or even flirting with a bota bag, then why would a bota bag be their talisman?” To which I’d answer, talismans aren’t tied to the rational, they’re talismans. They don’t need to make sense. That’s why they are mystical. That’s their juju my friends.

 

We stumbled upon this talisman while shopping in a tourist trap in a small town on the road to Letras. Yes, there were many trinkets on display, but like Indiana Jones who relied on his talents when locating the cup of the carpenter in Indiana Jones and The Last Crusade, we relied on our vast and incomprehensible cultural/anthropological/scientific/intuitive knowledge to dig this little puppy up. I mean the thing wasn’t even on the top of the stack. We were forced to wade through at least two options in order to find it—and wade we did! Were Nazis looking over our collective shoulders? Not sure, I mean there was definitely a chance we were being spied on. In the end we were able to make it out of the country with this talisman, and since that time it has been sitting in our office vibrating with an ethereal glow waiting to be won in a contest of immense import.

Dead Reckoning: Lost Nevados Day 07
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Nozzle
  • 1. Really neat open/close feature. Wine comes out when you want it and not when you don't.
  • 2. Made from space age plastics.
  • 3. Stylish black, perfect for casual and formal bota environments.
Price
  • 1. Not just paper, adhesive backed paper.
  • 2. Listed in USD.
  • 3. Really nice penmanship.
Strap
  • 1. How do you carry a bota bag? You carry it hanging from your shoulder. But in order to do that you need a strap. Our bota comes with strap because we know you can't drink water out of a glass without a glass and you can't hang a bota from your shoulder without a strap.
  • 2. Gold and Red because fortune begets wine and wine begets fortune.
Artwork
  • 1. It's well known that young Spaniards grow up playing in traffic, it's tradition. And those that survive have the chance to prove themselves in the bull ring. Where a Volkswagen beetle is fitted with two spears and the Spaniard is outfitted with a beach blanket. They dance for a while and then the Spaniard begins shoving his kabob spears into the VW in order to drain its fuel. Anyway that's what's being depicted here.
Intricate Leatherwork
  • 1. When was the last time you had to seal an envelope? It's not so easy right? Now imagine trying to seal a water envelope with strips of dried skin, nearly unfathomable? Well that's what you're seeing here. Does this add to the mystical qualities of this bota bag? You shouldn't even have to ask.
  • 2. Caramel Brown. Just like the sun.
Authentic Patina (aka heritage marks, aka validation etching)
  • 1. Even our world-renowned forensic staff couldn't pinpoint when and how this bota received its heritage marks but when pressed to make a guess one scientist ventured that the scuffing is most likely a result of being part of a knife fight during the heady days of the revolution.
  • 2. Another scientist thought that they might have been the result of the bag being dropped on the tourist trap's sales floor.
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THE WINNER

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Adrian, please contact [email protected] to claim your prize.

RUNNERS-UP

Thanks, guys. We loved your answers, really, but there could only be one. But you do at least deserve recognition.

First Runner-Up: submitted by Molly F
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"Authour I. Calvino seemed to know the thing when he wrote, '...In his desire to avoid vague sensations, he establishes for his every action a limited and precise object.'

A page later, he also wrote, 'A nervous man who lives in a frenzied and congested world, Mr. Palomar tends to reduce his relations with the outside world; and, to defend himself against the general neurasthenia he tries to keep his sensations under control insofar as possible.' [A palomar is a pigeon coop, so in respect to your friend and our subject, changing Palomar to Benedict would probably be kindest.]"—Submitted by Jordan M
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"Benedict doing his best Yuri Gagarin impression.

Gagarin 55 years ago to the day was the first human in space. Fitting that Benedict would honor Gagarin with a modern cosmonaut who is similarly exploring the unknown of Colombia and blazing a trail for us dreamers back down on earth."—Submitted by Matthew H
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"@ultratradition collecting traditional native wares from the Columbian rain forest and modeling them for Poppi's 2017 swim calendar/erotica catalog."—Submitted by... J-something rather. Not sure.
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