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2014 Athens Orthopedic Clinic Twilight Criterium: Pt. 2

2014 Athens Orthopedic Clinic Twilight Criterium: Pt. 2

Athens Orthopedic Clinic Twilight Criterium: Men's Elite

2014 Athens Orthopedic Clinic Twilight Criterium: Pt. 2


I Dear Brooks Brothers Chillers of America,

If you live in anywhere in the United States other than the Eastern Seaboard in general or Athens, Georgia in particular, and you’re struggling to find love, respect, acceptance, romance, etc., finish reading this internet blog race report (IBRR), pack-up your Croakies, khaki shorts, pastel shorts, white cotton tube socks (6 for 10 bucks!), Top-Siders, visors, technical and vented poplin fishing shirts, plethora of polos, braided belts and your backwards facing baseball caps and get yourself a ticket to Atlanta, Georgia and an Enterprise Rental Car reservation, because right this minute, 1,985,234 cowboy boot and mini skirt wearing coeds are standing by!

II Dear Athens Twilight Bike Race,

Your course is short but we like it, it’s very, very navigable, there is lots of Second Floor Chilling, food and drink is widely available, it’s easy to cross from the Inside to the Outside in any of the many designated spots and we like what you did regarding bleacher seats and the mini-jumbotron television—side note, nice work on the excellent live coverage! You are very, very, very, very, very well spectated—clearly, gurl you like to party right, like you know how to have a good time, love it, l-o-v-e love it!!! The weather!, that balmy Southern thing you do is totes comfy. The music was pretty good, def not your strong suit, but it was fine. The announcer dude, Chad, was coherent, intelligent and well-liked. The proposal before the womens race—cute but typical!, (CBT)—was fun, dude got down on one knee, #proper. The shouting, cheering, clapping, flashing, banging, blowing, hooting was all spectacular. And the main event, the Pro Men’s race (both of them, Part 1 & Part 2) was in fact one of the Greatest Most Sketchiest Spectacles of Speed on Earth; #NASCAR #critlife #shitson #knifefight Wow, just wow!!! Thanks for all of it.

III The other brief but complete list of facts about Athens: the town, the race, the spectacle! This one by Klaus.

  1. The 1980–81 television series Breaking Away (based on the 1979 film of the same name) was filmed in and around Athens and made use of the University buildings and local stone quarries for filming locations.
  2. Athens-Clarke County is a consolidated city–county in Georgia. It’s made up of the City of Athens proper (the county seat) and Clarke County.
  3. Athens Population as of 2010: City/County 115,452. Metro: 192,541.
  4. Athens Sister cities: Athens, Greece / Cortona, Italy / Isasi, Romania.
  5. The city traces its origins to the late 18th century; a trading settlement on the banks of the Oconee River called Cedar Shoals stood where Athens is located today.
  6. On January 27, 1785, the Georgia General Assembly granted a charter by Abraham Baldwin for the University of Georgia as the first state-supported university.
  7. The city is divided into the following neighborhoods: Downtown, East Side, Normaltown, Pulaski Heights, Boulevard, Cobbham, Five Points, Newtown, Briarcliff, Chicopee-Dudley and Carr’s hill
  8. The average household rent in Athens was $962. The national average is $1087.
  9. The city is perhaps most known, in terms of popular culture, for its music scene, due to bands like R.E.M. and the B-52’s.
  10. Speaking of the B-52’s, on December 15, 2004 a fire destroyed the “love shack,” which love shack was, up until it burned down, on Jefferson River Road. 
  11. Local radio stations: WPUP, WMSL, WUOG, WUGA, WPPP, WRFC, WGAU and WXAG.
  12. The Twilight Series is a weekend of bicycle races and events that takes place every spring in Athens, Georgia, United States since 1980. During the course of each Twilight weekend, competitive events in a variety of fields are staged, including BMX racing and trick contests, a Kids’ Criterium, a mountain bike or ‘Fat Tire’ Criterium, and the climactic event of the weekend, the Twilight Criterium. The weekend event features amateur and professional races on a 1 km (.621 mile) course in downtown Athens. The 80 km (49.71 miles) PRO-0-1-2 race features cash prizes totaling more than $10,000.
  13. The race was created by Gene Dixon in 1980. It was the first nighttime race in the United States in over 60 years. It started with 40 competitors, but has grown to have eight separate race classes and 150 cyclists competing in the main event alone.
  14. 2013 Pro-0-1-2 Women’s Winner:  Erica Allar (CARE4CYCLING powered by Solomon Corp)
  15. 2013 Pro-0-1-2 Men’s Winner: Kevin Mullervy (Champion System p/b Stan’s NoTubes).
  16. Notable residents and natives: Kim Basinger – American film actress, Ryan Key – lead singer and rhythm guitar of the band Yellowcard, Michael Stipe – Founding member of R.E.M, Jered and Ashley Gruber – World Renowned Cycling Photographer Duo, Phil Gaimon – Professional Human Athlete Road Cyclist currently riding for Team Garmin Sharp Barracuda Team.

IV Men's Elite/1/2

Team CLIF stops to take a photograph for posterity moments before the start of the Second Battle of the Fords of Isen. (From L to R) Boromir, Legolas, Samwise "Sam" Gamgee and Aragorn aka Strider.
A study published in the Royal Society Journal of Biology Letters showed that women find faster cyclists to be more attractive than their slower counterparts.
The Heat Meiser.
Adam Myerson.
P-T-P Camera Man, P-T-P!!!
Vote Nancy!
Ben Chaddock.
(From L to R) Jake King and Evan Murphy.
The Centaur.
Ben Chaddock. But you knew that.
Rafael A. German Meran.
(From L to R) Ben Chaddock (again) and Isaac Howe.
Argon is the 18th element on the periodic table of elements; it's also one of six natural noble gases.
Hookah Hook-up is located at 225 W Clayton St, Athens, GA 30601 Their phone number is 706-286-7070.
"American Flag Polo shirt" generates 1,020,000 results on Google.
I dont know who this dude is, but he knows who Manual for Speed is and he's DTF to give a babe a ride, so that's cool. #unfairadvantage Addendum: shoutout to Eric Kirk aka this dude!
Urban Dictionary defines "third wheel" as "One who deters the socialization of a couple, perhaps when being invited out of pitty or through a feeling of duty."
Last year this corner was protected with hay bales; apparently hay bales are too soft or something so the race upgraded to molded plastic jersey walls.
The term "fanny pack" originated as a result of the bags commonly being worn facing the rear, above the buttocks, for which "fanny" is a slang term in parts of the United States. Despite the name, many users today wear fanny packs in the front of their mid section.
These Frat Chillers invited us to a party after the Twilight Crit. We may or may not have gone to a Frat Party.
Jonny Sundt (Team GIANTSouth) told us about temporarily losing (like he crashed and it came off, like ALL the way off) his index finger while racing Roswell Crit last year, and about two different fights he's been in during past Athens Twilight Crits, one was with an Italian guy who he (Jonny) put into a fence (#critlife) while racing. After the race the Italian guy stepped to Jonny so Jonny had to grab the Italian dude's ponytail, which the Italian dude didn't like so he grabbed a 2x4 and swung it at Jonny. Jonny blocked the 2x4 with his bike, which bike was a Klein Quantum Pro, which now broken Klein Quantum Pro is currently hanging in a wall in one of the two Jittery Joes Coffee shops in Athens. Which Jittery Joe Coffee Shop Business Chain Adam Myerson told us to boycott because they owe him 75k. At any rate, Jonny Sundt agreed to do an interview with MFS about New School Coaching VS. Old School Mentoring & Flight Time in relationship to crashing and danger, and Adam Myerson agreed to do an interview with MFS about The Glory of Suffering in relationship to Sponsors and Sponsorship.
On January 1, 2014, Miller Lite released a the limited-edition "Original Lite Can", an updated version of the iconic packaging that was first introduced 40 years ago.

V A Typology of Twilight #barricadeboots

Despite there only being a single Boot Barn in the state of Georgia, Athens' Boot Game is strong and widespread.
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