2015 Paris–Nice: Stage 01
Yesterday was a Sunday, today is a Monday, when do Businesses in France do Business? Do the French value commerce? Do the French trade goods and services with each other?
- At approximately 12:35 PM this afternoon we exited the A-10 at Aire Des Plains du Beauce, and there was a PAUL.
- Due to unforeseen logistical setbacks (see Shower Adventures) and various other issues and confusions, Manual for Speed arrived at the start area with three minutes and 45 seconds left to photograph the start area before needing to leave the start area.
I At Breakfast Today
Raoul claims he heard wolves “crying” (howling) in the woods behind Downtown Alley.
II Shower Adventures Episode Two: The Seated Shower
- What is is a Seated Shower? A Seated Shower is a half-shower, half-bathtub hybrid that doesn’t require (allow for) standing. Because the shower head is located roughly 19 inches above the kneeling/seating surface the user can simply sit under the flow of water, there’s no need to stand, in fact you can’t. That’s the whole point!
- The Seated Shower is perfect for training. If all you’ve ever done is bathe, showers can be intimidating. The seated shower provides an intermediary step. Which means beginners have a chance to familiarize themselves with the mechanics of a shower head without the fear of slipping and/or falling.
- The seated Shower is perfect for adult babies. For more information on adult babies please click here.
- The seated shower is perfect for the elderly and handicapped.
- The seated shower is perfect for sex acts. Especially otherwise “messy” sex acts.
III An Enumerated Summary of the Paris-Nice Website’s Stage 1 Race Summary
- The peloton leaves Saint-Rémy-lès-Chevreuse without Geoffrey Soupe (Fra-Cofidis), appointed pilot fish Nacer Bouhanni (Fra-Cofidis), still feverish and therefore not up for that first step.
- Hivert voluntarily quits his adventure in the front, after a race during which time only 33 kilometers were covered. If he does not believe in its prospects, a teammate, Anthony Delaplace takes over and leaves the peloton at km 38, followed by Thomas Voeckler.
- On a reaction of pride, however, they manage to surprise the peloton momentarily on acceleration and reassemble their advantage to 2′.
- Just after packing engaged less than 20 kilometers from the line, the progression of the pack is barely interrupted by the fall of Tom Boonen, who left the race with a damaged left arm.
- The scenario of the stage Contres, promised to sprinters, has not escaped the forecast, although the final was disrupted by the fall and the abandonment of Tom Boonen, who offered respite and some hope the two escapees of the day, Thomas Voeckler and Anthony Delaplace.
- The sprint then confirmed the current domination of Alexander Kristoff, which we measure the progress since the 2014 Paris-Nice.
- This year, he continued his show of strength in the long term: after 4 victories in the Tour of Qatar and Tour of Oman, Kristoff seizes her first bouquet with a nice head start on Nacer Bouhanni.
- Michal Kwiatkowski retains the overall lead.
IV A Typological Guide to the Paris–Nice Team Sponsors
I know what you’re thinking: over 63% of the time, Professional Road Cycling Team Names are just made up words that have no relationship to reality. You’re thinking that maybe it’s because the URL was available, or possibly it’s an obscure reference to the team owner’s childhood nickname, or maybe it’s just an acronym (i.e. Call Owen For Insane Deals Inside Slovenia) or something right? But it can’t be the name of something real, because nothing real would ever be so boring and uninspired. Well that’s just not true; it turns out that a little under 103% of the time, Team Names are adopted (literally and with zero interpretation) from their Title Sponsor(s) who are invariably business companies of one sort or another. For example Call Owen For Insane Deals Inside Slovenia—it turns out that Cofidis is actually a French money-lending company. I know what you’re thinking, wait, how could the world lack THAT much imagination?, especially when it has implications regarding the branding of a professional sports team? That’s certainly a worthy and interesting question, albeit one which we may never know the answer to. But, now that we know Team Names are NOT meaningless nonsense words, let’s take a look at the 2015 Paris-Nice Team line-up11Thanks to Klaus for the breakdown below. from this new perspective.
→ → → SCROLL RIGHT → → →
V Paris–Nice Stage 01 Playlist by Sensa FM
- 1 Keen'V Saltimbanque
- 2 will.i.am featuring Britney Spears Scream & Shout
- 3 Louane Jour 1
- 4 Oumou Sangare Sig Kuruni
- 5 Tove Lo Habits
- 6 Lost Frequencies Are You With Me
- 7 Wiz Khalifa feat. Iggy Azalea Go Hard or Go Home
- 8 Queen A Kind of Magic
- 9 Kim Carnes Bette Davis Eyes
- 10 Charlie Winston Lately
- 11 Asaf Avidan Over My Head
- 12 Anaïs Peut-Être Une Angine
- 13 Nikka Costa Stuck to You
- 14 Vadel Sex Dream
- 15 Whitney Houston It's Not Right, but It's Okay
- 16 Marc Lavoine Les Parking des Agnes
VI Raoul's Race Forecast Presented by A Typology of Raoul and French Front Doors
Raoul’s Stage 1 Race Prediction
First Place: Alexander Kristoff
Second Place: Andre Greipel
Third Place: Nacer Bouhanni
Stage 1 Race Reality
First Place: Alexander Kristoff
Second Place: Nacer Bouhanni
Third Place: Bryan Coquard