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2015 USA Pro Challenge: Stage 06

2015 USA Pro Challenge: Stage 06

Saturday August 22, 2015 | Loveland, CO

Cycling fans seem to get more excited about the helicopter flying around to shoot the cycling than the cycling itself. Maybe we at MFS should start covering Air Shows.

2015 USA Pro Challenge: Stage 06

I II III IV V
Race Stats
Start Location

Loveland

Finish Location

Fort Collins

Distance

102.2 mi

Number of Steps

4080 or 2 Miles.

Time of Filing

11:04 PM

Accomodations

Hampton Inn, West Denver

Today's Objectives
  1. Starbucks in the morning. ✓
  2. Walk around a parking lot. ✓
  3. Photograph the women at the KOM. X
  4. Photograph the men at the KOM. ✓
Top 3 Finishers
  1. Roman Kreuziger, 3:50:35
  2. Javier Megias Leal, +0:00:00
  3. Leonardo Basso, +0:00:00
WIFI Details
HAMPTON INN! HAMPTON INN! HAMPTON INN! The WiFi here is so fast that I even managed to update the operating software on my Macintosh laptop. High Tech Gloss! Finally a hotel in the 21st Century.
Weather
Sun. Wind. Again.
Quote of the Day
"I have a chocolate lab that does that!"
-A woman in Starbucks referencing the interaction between a man and his three year old daughter
"I want to see a race between the penny farthing guy and the grim reaper."
-Anonymous
"If I were to criticize my own music taste, it would be that after about two hours I feel like I'm trapped in a J. Crew."
-DWP
"Why is she standing like her crotch is on fire?"
-Anonymous
"Those fire trees are great and that valley is unreal. I hope it's owned by a Republican."
-DWP
"I think we're in a yelp shadow right now."
-Anonymous
"Women and children on BMX bikes are stacking up behind us."
-DWP, during the eternal delay
"This crime scene tape is a nice touch."
-Anonymous
"When you use your sound hole you don't see letters."
-DWP
"This place was 150 bucks, no wonder it’s a palace."
-DWP
Course Description [OFFICIAL]

The start and finish location of Stage 6 may be familiar, but what lies between the two is new and challenging. The early flats and sprints in Windsor and Loveland hide the wicked side of the route that waits in the second half. It may not have the grand names or the huge elevation numbers, but the lower and smaller climbs of this stage still have a serious sting. Climbing the north side of Carter Lake and then onto Rist Canyon should get everyone’s attention. It may also present one of the last chances for overall contenders to make a move. Wrapping up with the jagged rollers of Horsetooth Reservoir before bombing into Ft. Collins, this stage proves that a race doesn’t need to reach 12’000’ to be epic.

MFS Bible
Course Description [UNOFFICIAL]

The course started in a parking lot, went through a bunch of strip malls, some outskirts flooded with McMansions, past what looked to be a few ranch set-ups, then up to the top of a hill. This is where we lost track of the riders, because we went back down the way we came up, but I am pretty sure the path the peloton took reversed the order of everything that happened on the way to the top of the hill as they raced to the finish. What I know for sure is that there were some strip malls, a few McMansions, and a serious amount of parking lots.

Today's Observation #1

Cycling fans seem to get more excited about the helicopter flying around to shoot the cycling than the cycling itself. Maybe we at MFS should start covering Air Shows.

Today's Observation #2

There are soooo many parking lots in pro cycling.

Today's Observation #3

When you’re driving along the backroads of Colorado it would be kinda nice to have Internet, but I guess the pilgrims would have said that too.

Today's Observation #4

Mr. T must have had some serious concussion issues after being knocked out in order fly all those times.

Today's Observation #5

Today’s shortlist of overused location names: 1) Devils Backbone. 2) Sugarloaf.

Meal & Food Report

Today we ate bucket food three times.

  1. A bucket full of burrito supplies from Chipotle.
  2. A bucket full of chilled nearly-frozen sour milk, cold sweet plants, and crunchy manufactured items from Menchies.
  3. Various-sized buckets filled with different shapes and sizes of colored food items from Whole Foods.
Retractions/Corrections/Apologies

Manual for Speed would like to apologize to the women’s field for not making it to the top of the KOM/QOM ahead of the field so that we could take your photo. But in our defense, one of your own refused to give up. We respect gumption, we respect drive, but when a 50+ year old with a dingy bell on his handlebars, a helmet mirror, and unshaved legs catches up to your caravan because your caravan has been driving at around five miles an hour up the mountain for the past 45 minutes, crawling along behind this SO FAR OFF THE BACK rider, then we think that rider should pack it in. Guy, Gal, undefined, that’s just what you do.

The Crew
Daniel Wakefield Pasley
Kyle Von Hoetzendorff
Special Guest Rebecca Gates Sound Artist

I MFS Status Update

Guys, we’re tired. Late nights, early mornings, long days mostly spent driving, buckets after buckets of food. Also there’s the altitude, the over-stuffed hotels pillows, the should-have-been-pulled riders, the commercials on the purple channels, the lack of exercise, the harsh bright mountain light, and the transfers to hotels that aren’t quite close enough to our buds in the peloton but not really far enough away to be truly noteworthy. What I’m trying to say is that we’re run down, tired, a little bit depressed, but we can’t put our finger on exactly why; I guess mostly just big picture stuff.

 

The thing is, we like sharing with you: you’re not here and there are important images and words that should be shared with you. The problem is today, well today we kinda got SNAFU’d in the mountains. And Colorado, you do mountain passses, you do them SO well, but you don’t do mountain pass alternatives, which makes leap frogging difficult, so MFS is feeling a little like the stars didn’t align for us today, and we really wanted the stars align for us. We wanted to see those women racers crushing the QOM, and we wanted to get to the finish and take photos of all the gasping, elated, and shell-shocked riders as they finished the stage, but it was not to be. This is kinda like a “just so you know”, you know?

II Two Brief Conversations

  • Cowbell Kid: “You want a cowbell?”
  • KVH: “No.”
  • Cowbell Kid: “You sure?”
  • KVH: “Yeah.”

 

  • Lady Who Just Had Her Picture Taken: “Where’s that going to be?”
  • DWP: “Internet.”
  • Lady Who Just Had Her Picture Taken: “Bill Puckey it’s not!”
  • DWP: “Don’t worry, there so much stuff on there that people won’t even notice it.”

III Today's Highs & Lows

HIGH POINTS
  • Lightning fast internet at the Hampton Inn.
  • Lachlan Morton’s mustache and sunglasses combo.
  • The Russian Bath Party happening at the Hampton Inn.
LOW POINTS
  • Driving behind a SO FAR OFF THE BACK rider for an eternity.
  • The smell of our rental car.

IV Loveland

Facts Courtesy of Wikipedia

 

  1. Country: United States
  2. State: Colorado
  3. County: Larimer
  4. Founded: 1877
  5. Incorporated: April 30, 1881
  6. Named For: William A.H. Loveland
  7. Type: Home Rule Municipality
  8. Mayor: Cecil Gutierrez
  9. Mayor Pro Tem: Dave Clark
  10. City Manager: Bill Cahill
  11. Area: 25.5 square mi (66.1 square km)
  12. Elevation: 4,982 ft (1,519 m)
  13. Population (2010): 66,859
  14. Density: 2,059.7/square mi (795.3/square km)
  15. Population (2013 Estimate): 71,334
  16. Time Zone: MST/MDT (UTC-7/UTC-6)
  17. ZIP Codes: 80534, 80537-80539
  18. Area Code: 970
  19. FIPS Code: 08-46465
  20. GNIS Feature ID: 0177720
  21. Highways: I-25, US 34, US 287, SH 60, SH 402
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"I go to the skatepark and jib around."
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"Joe Lewis is a soup can man."—DWP
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V Rist Canyon

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