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2017 Amstel Gold Race

2017 Amstel Gold Race

Sunday April 16, 2017 | Maastricht

Flow makes a course interesting which makes the race interesting. Without flow Professional Road Racing is a Threshold Contest. Which sounds more interesting than it often is.

2017 Amstel Gold Race

Race Stats
Start Location


Finish Location




Number of Steps

11,383 / 6.3 miles

Time of Filing

A slow build from the race finish to 11:10 PM Tuesday.


Ancient-But-Modern Castle Row House.

Today's Objectives
  1. Because Raoul is in Colombia and his dad Mart is on Holiday in the north, caravan behind Ashley Gruber all day long. From stop to stop. Never lose her. Don’t get lost. Don’t lose her tail. See new spots. Gain new perspective.
  2. Do video right.
  3. Shoot the start, see the race on the course eight times, shoot the finish (see above).
  4. Stay warm.
  5. Observe and document flow.
  6. Discuss flow. The nature of flow. The idea of flow. Where flow is and isn’t. The relationship between flow and anti-flow. The metaphysical properties of flow, etc.
Top 3 Finishers
  1. Philippe Gilbert (Bel) Quick-Step Floors, 6:31:40
  2. Michal Kwiatkowski (Pol) Team Sky, s/t
  3. Michael Albasini (Swi) Orica-Scott, +0:10
WIFI Details
Due to pre-industrial revolution download and upload speeds, Yannick, the owner of our ABMCRH, contacted his local service provider. A technician dude showed up on Tuesday, confirmed that our internet connection sucked at best, informed us that it was the modem, and told us that he could have a new modem installed in three days. While that seemed like an unusually long time to wait for a replacement modem, it was in fact replaced three days later that Friday, and now it runs good.
Blustery, grey, windy, cold, bracing, sun breaks, windy, colder than expected, dryer than expected and cold. Light rain and particularly grey at the finish. Lots of movement and shifts. Ever changing. Cold.
Quote of the Day
"Wormholes and trap doors."
-Alex Howes
"Simply put, I think the appeal of the Spring Classics is that you race like there's no tomorrow. Because there is no tomorrow. Forgive me if that's insanely obvious but that's the point."
Course Description [OFFICIAL]

“The Amstel Gold Race finishes no longer at the top of the Cauberg in Valkenburg since 2013. The finish line is drawn 1.8 kilometers away, in exactly the same spot where the World Championship ended in 2012. The organization of the only Dutch cycling classic made the choice fort he relocation of the finish to the Rijksweg in Vilt, following the positive experience around the World Championship. Amstel Gold Race course director Leo van Vliet was coach of the Dutch men team during this World Championship.


“The organization of the Amstel Gold Race has decided to modify the route of the Amstel Gold Race in 2017 again. After the start at the Market square in Maastricht, the riders will ride three different big laps through the Southern Limburgian hilly landscape, including three climbs of the Cauberg and passings of the finish line in Vilt-Valkenburg.


“From the moment that the bunch conquers the Cauberg for the third time and passes the finish line, the local lap will start with the climb of the Geulhemmerberg and the Bemelerberg, just like in the last years. But, where the riders had to conquer one ultimate climb of the Cauberg towards the last kilometre, after the climb of the Bemelerberg in the last four editions, now the most famous Dutch ‘cycling climb’ is deleted from the course in the last lap. Because of this change, the riders will head left towards Vilt right away from the top of the Daalhemmerweg at the roundabout. From the roundabout it will be about 2 kilometres towards the finish line.”

MFS Bible
Course Description [UNOFFICIAL]

Tangled headphones pulled from a Giant’s pocket and thrown onto the bucolic and quasi-suburban hills of the Limburg Province of the Netherlands.

Today's Observation #1

The race is easier than sportive for several reasons. The first of which is that in the race there is no oncoming traffic.

Today's Observation #2

In the race you are allowed to ride on the road in dry weather. In the sportive you are forced to ride on the sidewalk in the rain.

Today's Observation #3

In the race your team brings you food and water. In the sportive if you don’t bring your own food and water you have to stop at the roadhouse by the windmill to buy miniature Pepsis.

Today's Observation #4

In the race it’s “okay” to pass people aggressively and at speed, in the sportive people yell at you and generally vibe you out. This despite the fact that in the race you can listen to music and talk to your friends using a headset which is safe, but in the sportive racers talk to their friends and family using a cellphone which is unsafe.

Today's Observation #5

The sportive is only 125 kilometers and the race is 250 kilometers; the increased distance gives the participants more time and distance to lay down a really good average time.

Meal & Food Report

We received three vouchers for three lunches from the race organizers. Each lunch contained:

  1. A ham and cheese and pickle and lettuce and butter sandwich on rye.
  2. A ham and cheese and pickle and lettuce and butter sandwich on a roll.
  3. A Snickers bar.
  4. A 12oz lemon-flavored Gatorade with the sport top.
  5. A 12oz orange-flavored Gatorade with the sport top.
  6. A waffle.
  7. A green Easter Egg.


The Crew
Daniel Wakefield Pasley
Ian Marshall
Steve Hockett
Mercenary Justin Balog
Mental Health Nikki LeMaire

I Road to Rad, Exhibit B: Flow

Available soon. Luck/Love art by Surface of the Moon.
Amstel Gold has a ton of flow if you understand it. But if you don't, it's anti-flow. So for a lot of people it's the most confusing, dangerous, awful race all year. You just gotta find the flow. If you find it and you let it take you, it’s flow city.”- Alex Howes


For every sport that is about racing except for maybe running11Thanks to parkour even some select running events now feature an interesting (if not deadly) course. or “foot racing” the course matters, a lot. In fact it’s maybe the most important aspect of the race outside of the participants. The course is everything!: jumps, corners, twists, inclines, declines, gaps, stairs, doubles, triples, gates, embankments, walls, water, street furniture, ramps, rails and berms are what make the race interesting. They set the pace. They determine the tempo and energy of the race. They force style and grace and intuition. Seriously, ask any race-based sport. Ask Mountain Biking, Skiing, Motocross and BMX. You could even ask Rock Climbing. I mean, Jesus, you could even ask Golf and Golf is neither a sport nor a race and but still Golfers care about the course. But not cycling, cycling, it would seem, is indifferent to the value of course. Cycling, it would seem, is happy to reduce the sport down to its most base element: scientific fitness. Watts per kilo. A physiological value. As such, the only thing that matters is extreme physical duress, i.e. going uphill. Ergo therefore such as, the only course feature that matters is a climb.


Which yeah, dude, we ride bikes. We get it, climbs ARE cool. We’ve seen the Tour de France. Suffering and pain and endurance and mental fortitude in the face of a 20 mile, 22% average climb in 91 degrees on the side an Alp is remarkable. And exciting even. But that’s just one trick! There are other tricks! We have more tricks!!!!


Standing on the side of a big, wide, reasonably well-paved road on say Stage 06 of the Tour de San Luis, or Paris–Nice, or the Tour of California, or País Vasco, or whatever—it doesn’t matter, they’re all the same—at like what, mile 67, next to a (closed) gas station and twelve kinda bored-but-picnicking fans, standing there over and over and over again, it’s easy to come to the conclusion that in general, Professional Road Cycling could care less about what the course does or doesn’t do. What it does or does not offer. Clearly, for the promoters and organizers, it’s about which roads they can gain access to, which roads they can close, which towns bid the most to be either a Start or Finish, et cetera et cetera. Like anything else it comes down to capitalism, the free market economy and sponsors. Which, again, we do business (kinda), we have sponsors (thanks Castelli!), we live in America (for now), we get it, that shit matters. It’s what powers the whole deal, money is required.

We’re not suggesting promoter-organizers ignore financial concerns and requirements... but we are saying those issues should be secondary. We ARE saying that a course FOR THE SAKE OF THE COURSE should be the primary concern.”- MFS

And for so many reasons! Reasons like crowds, accessibility, view-ability, history, tradition, geography, relief, locality, topography, natural beauty and, most importantly, FLOW.


Flow makes a course interesting which makes the race interesting. Without flow Professional Road Racing is a Threshold Contest. Which sounds more interesting than it often is. Flow is the physicality, nature and personality of the race course. It’s the race’s physical and metaphysical features. It’s the course’s COURSE-NESS incarnate. Flow is a metaphor. Flow is a euphemism. Flow is energy, man. Courses need energy. Courses can have flow but so can individual riders. Flow is meditation, it’s one-ness, it’s synchronicity, it’s nirvana and Shirley MacLaine’s Out on a Limb. Flow is unidentifiable, inexplicable, non-physical, formless and inter-dimensional. It’s wormholes, trapdoors and time travel.


More specifically in the case of the Amstel Gold Race, flow is a one-lane outdoor Dutch discotheque full of corners, narrow roads, tight punchy climbs, uneven road surfaces and road furniture—maximum capacity 180 people. In which, or on which, 250 racers have to race for 250 kilometers. Plus the caravan. Plus thousands of scooters, hordes of 4-wheelers, European motorcycle gangs, millions of picnickers, bajillions of cycling chillers on every form of bike headed in every direction all at once, roadside pop-up parties, revelers, flash mob traffic jams, bars along the course, hotels along the course, the little Pink Panther cars zipping across the hillside, the Keystone cop pandemonium, the Benny Hill soundtrack. Flow is all that. Flow is everything. Flow is a course that works. FLOW = COURSE. No flow, no course. No course, no excitement. No excitement, current state of 90% of stage racing.


A brief list of things that cause flow, are flow, smell like flow, determine flow, reflect flow, symbolize flow, suggest flow, designate flow and relate to flow


  1. Tricks
  2. Dick Punches
  3. Jumps
  4. Features
  5. Aspects
  6. Chaos
  7. Luck
  8. Love
  9. Corners
  10. Overlaps/Underlaps
  11. Danger
  12. Lines
  13. Unexpected Things

II The Physics of Flow

Fig. 1: Causal relations between different points in space-racetime. [Hockett, 2017]

The above is a two dimensional diagram capturing the causal relations between different points in space-racetime by illustrating the effects Trapdoors and Wormholes have on Professional Cycling. Wormholes advance a racer ahead of other racers through a bridge which connects two incoherent points in space-racetime. Trapdoors retard a racer (backwards moving flow) through a bridge which connects two incoherent points in space-racetime. Trapdoors and Wormholes are common to races which exhibit a Flow Factor of 9 or higher and are typically caused by exponential overlapping, infinity curves and road furniture.

Fig. 2: Intersections, convergence and flow in the case of the 2017 Amstel Gold Race. [Hockett, 2017]

Steve Hockett, Manual for Speed’s resident Physicist, has a BA in Physicism and Art from Leeds University. He currently lives in Hebden Bridge, Yorkshire, UFO Triangle UK.

III Alex Howes on Flow

What is Flow? Where is Flow? Why is it important? And how can it be integrated into bicycle racing? As part of Manual for Speed’s Road to Rad initiative we contacted flowmaster Alex Howes to discuss the importance and application of flow in bike racing and beyond. Please take a few minutes and watch this video to gain better insight into how flow can positively effect your bicycle racing experience.

While Alex may be as master of flow, he isn’t the only on in the world that can speak with authority on its importance and value. We doubt many of you have the requisite research skills to find the true flowmasters on the internet, don’t worry we did it for you. At first the information in this video may seem trivial or surface; in order to truly understand you have to sit with it, you must accept the gift of flow before you are able to understand flow. That is how flow works.

IV Today's Playlist

V #BecauseNetherlands

we were young
at this
it was a most
only now
instead of
moving toward
moves toward
makes each word
into the
feeding a

VI Maastricht

Traffic and race flow are both important. In European races, men and women with vests and flags help in this regard. In American construction zones, flaggers are employed, and the requirements to hold that position differ by state. In Wyoming, for example, “flaggers must have completed and passed a flagger training program approved by the State Construction Office before flagging. A three-day grace period will be allowed to meet this requirement in an unplanned emergency situation.”
There has been some discussion as of late regarding what a group picture taken by one of the subjects is called. Is it still a selfie if it contains several people? Were it not for the existing meaning of the word “groupie”, that word might be an ideal solution for this photographic quandary.
Boels Rental is an equipment rental company based in Sittard, the Netherlands. The company has 2600 employees in over 340 stores. The company has a presence in the Netherlands, Belgium, Luxembourg, Germany, Austria, Czech Republic, Poland, Italy, and Slovakia.

VII Amstel Flow

Color harmony is important. Color flow is important. ”The trick is in the manner that you choose the other accessories and how you combine purple with other colors. Other bright colors are a big no-no with purple. Pinks, oranges and red are color which you should not even give a single glance to while deciding to wear something purple.” [Source:]. Additional tip: When visiting the Pacific Northwest, consider stopping in Seattle’s Purple Store, an entire store devoted to selling purple items that holds a 4.6 star rating on Google.
A video called “Woman Getting a Crewcut” was posted on YouTube in June 14, 2006. It’s a low resolution video, with no audio, which nevertheless has almost 400,000 views. One commenter opines, “This is NOT a 'Crew Cut'. This is a very short haircut on a very attractive woman.”
American architect Frank Lloyd Wright often spoke of the importance of “compression and release” in architecture. In many buildings, he designed narrow entrances with low ceilings (compression), which then led to large spaces that gave a sense of openness and freedom (release). He saw the interplay between these two states as a key component in how humans experienced spaces.
Scientists have studied how schools of fish operate and how they are able to change direction and trajectory as quickly as they do. Schooling behavior (as it’s called) is not learned, though its techniques are practiced by young fish in pairs. Fish often have sensory systems that allow them to respond with great speed to small changes by their neighbors within a school. Most species lose their schooling abilities when it’s dark, leading many to believe that sight is the sense that most contributes to their schooling abilities.
#77. Dylan Teunns. UCI Racing License: BEL19920301. Third-year as a professional, 2,889 followers on Instagram. Mailing address for his supporters club: Cafe Boerenhof, Binkomstraat 10, 3391 Meensel-Kiezegem, Belgium. 8.3 out of 10 in Foursquare.

VIII Valkenburg

After conducting a search with the US Patent and Trademarks office, we’ve determined that the name “Mega-Monopod” is available for anyone who may want to use it.
Hey Justin! Thanks Justin!
Hey Steve! Thanks Steve!
A Brief Typology of Amstel Gold Race Caravan Members
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